Friends that Mend or Bend

Hello everyone, it’s a beautiful Thursday and I am so excited the weekend is almost here. I was going to write a different article but reading the book of Job again this morning, something caught my attention about the influence of friends in our lives and I thought to share.

 Many people do not like to read the book of Job because it is a sad story of calamities that befell a man and it appears to be so full of deep arguments and words but I have read it twice in a short period and I find some amazing life nuggets in it. His story in the bible is a peculiar case of God vouching for a man about his integrity, uprightness and reverence. He was such a God-fearing man and he commanded God’s respect. I don’t want to bore you with the long story but the long and short is that the devil afflicted him because He thought that would make him renounce and curse God.

Job’s first reaction was to bow in worship when he heard of the entire catastrophe that had befallen him (Job 1: 20). It was a huge loss; everything he had acquired in life, including his children were all gone in a jiffy. But in spite of this devastation, he worshiped God. Verse 22 says “In all of these, Job did not by charging God in wrongdoing”. We move on to chapter 2 where we see his health also afflicted and he was in such a messy state that his wife advised him to curse God and die.  His response to her was that of an unflinching  believer ” You are talking like a foolish woman……..shall we accept good from God and not trouble, in all of this, Job DID not sin in what he said”

Then comes verse 11 of chapter 2; my focal point this morning. 11 Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came everyone from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him. 12And when they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent everyone his mantle, and sprinkled dust upon their heads toward heaven.13So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great.

He maintained his peace and kept his mouth shut UNTIL his friends; the so called sympathizers came around. They left their houses to come see a man who had been greatly afflicted and all they could do was to weep aloud from afar and sprinkle dust on their heads. No words of comfort, they didn't even make an attempt to lift him from the floor and encourage him to put on his clothes, bathe and eat. They sat with him on the floor for seven good days!  I wonder if it was genuine sympathy because in some of the subsequent chapters, they accused Job of being a wicked man and that he was only reaping the reward of his “deeds”. Chei!  I am certain they must have been beneficiaries of his wealth! Why would they even form a company to go see and mourn with him? Could they not have gone individually? They came to sympathize I agree but should they have added to his grief by weeping, tearing their clothes and rolling on the ground as they did? Haba! I thought the bible says “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. (Proverbs 27:17). So if these friends couldn't alleviate his problems, why would they compound it?

It was when they came into the scene that Job opened his mouth and cursed the day he was born. From  chapter 3  till about the 32^nd chapter we see a lot of trading of words, finger pointing, ramblings, wrong advice, accusation, regrets, wrong allegation, amongst Job and the three friends and we hear a lot of stories of regrets, and totally appalling words that were very unnecessary. This continued until Elihu another friend of Job who was much younger than all of them stood up to reprimand Job and that at least jolted him back to his senses. His hard times might have ended much earlier if these friends had not come in my opinion! Elihu pointed out his faults in some of the things he had said and advised him wisely and sharply! Then we see God step into the scene…… (Job 38)

It is good to have friends but it is wisdom to choose carefully. Friends are an important part of life. There are friends who stick closer than a brother indeed. I've got a few of such. There is a need to strategically pick those you who run this race of life with. I say this with no iota of disrespect or disregard for anyone. But the truth is you can’t rise above those you associate with. They either lift you up or bring you down. “Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces” (Pro 13:20). Love all, but be strategic in friendships.

Friends make or mar you. In life, we all need people who would always encourage us to be the best, help us through difficult times ,encourage us to hold our heads on high, constructively criticize us and not dampen our spirits, aggravate our stress and form a pity party for us all the time. Enough of those! Peradventure I am describing the role you play in the lives of your friends- You are the same person who would say demotivating things, castigate, backbite, run down and gossip about them, it may be wise to do introspection today.  You may be in for a rude shock because everyone reaps whatever they sow. If you expect to have good friends, you have to be one too.  A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother(Proverbs 18: 24).

A good friend should:

·Give good advice- Proverbs 12:26: The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray. (NLT)

· Shape and sharpen you -Proverbs 27:17: As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. (NLT)

· Be loyal and love through difficult Times -Proverbs 17:17: A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. (NLT)

· Be a Rare Treasure- Proverbs 18:24: There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. (NLT

· Not be a gossip. Gossip separates best friends Proverbs 16:28:
A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends. (NLT)

Lets get back to Job’s story as I wrap this up. When God was going to restore him, He expressed his displeasure to these 3 friends of Job. They didn't have good intentions and they didn't say the right things to him. God requested that Job makes a sacrifice on their behalf and pray for them and He did and then his own fortune was restored. (Job 42: 7-9). Do not be deceived, bad company ruins good morals the bible says. You really are my friend? You are either bending or mending me. You can’t be doing both. I end this with this quote:

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. — Albert Schweitzer

What do you think about this? I would really love to have your feedback.

Thank you for reading.

 The Pen….